"Methinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow." - Henry David Thoreau

Lets face it. Right now I'm scheduled to workout 22.5 hours a week.That is 22.5 hours of time , 22.5 hours of pain, 22.5 hours of thoughts.


Please don't get me wrong by my next statement. I, in no way - shape - or form think I am better than anybody else. I am not even saying this would make me better than anyone. But for 26, [I think] I am pretty mature for my age... I'm like a wise old lady in a young body.

You are wise beyond your years - I hear it all the time, and I agree.

I've gone through a number of experiences in life that have turned me into the person I am... sure - we all have. But what shapes you into who you are isn't necessarily what you go through, but how you get through and what you take away.

For me, I ran.. I run.

The only thing between you and where you are going, are your own thoughts... and I've thought a lot. I've had an endless amount of miles to sort through my life.
Not only do I finish each run feeling a little bit better, a little bit stronger... but a little bit wiser. For my long distance runs, I typically have music on... which I end up drowning out until I hit the wall. But more minutes then not - I am just thinking. [hopefully] not about the distance, the pain, or my time, but about me.... that and making sure I don't trip and fall.

As a culture, we are busy people. We are always going somewhere, always doing something, and constantly glued to our smart phones, our computers, and our television - and all three at the same time [I am right now]. It is very rare that we find a moment to ourselves - to just be in ourselves - to just think. [next is the waterproof smartphone that will allow you to tweet as you rinse ...although I am sure that is already out].

I give myself that in my workouts. I work out lifes problems, figure out what I want to achieve, and analyze situations. I think of the things I could do differently to better myself ... both for myself and for others. It is in my runs that I have shaped who I am.

My training started about 9 months out from my race. And even though I have 3 short[er] races prior to my full triathlon, it is easy to forget what you are trying to achieve.... what you are set out to do... especially when your final goal seems to far off.
The best is when I remember in the middle of a stride, a stroke, a pedal.
2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run.. my goal. I am going for my ultimate goal. I visualize myself in the race .. I hear the cheers, I feel the emotions, I see the finish... and I get choked up. It brings me back. It takes me from thinking about how miserable I am, to how lucky I am because I am able to go for what I've been wanting to do for so long...
... not everyone can say that.

...People ask how I get through these long workouts.. and that is how. I wise up. I think.

The Road. It's a good listener... [and so is the pool]


... So is the bed when you are stuck in it... sick.. which was me this week. I managed to get through my worries of Vegas. I ate well, avoided the buffets and worked out every morning. Good... great....awesome.
Then I came home .... and got sick. I missed way too many days of workouts, I ate like crap [for me], and after todays workout I feel like I fell not just one or two, but 20 steps back. Before Vegas, I was feeling strong and confident. Today... not so much. It was a miserable day. I only got 1.5 out of the 5:15 hour workout I should have.
Tomorrow I will be strong. Everything will be kicked up a notch. My workouts, my diet, my intensity and dedication. Tomorrow... not Monday.
I don't like when people say 'Monday' 'after the holiday' 'new year'... I don't even like when people say 'tomorrow' - and yes, I know I just said this myself... But I said tomorrow because it is 11:30pm and I did today, I just wasn't satisfied.

Why wait another day? If you aren't happy, if you want change, do it now.


now.. now IT IS MARCH! March 3rd.
It has been two months [and a day] {and 2 days because these posts take me a long time to write} since I have signed up for the Chesapeakeman. I can not believe how fast time is flying by... I am not where I thought I would be.
I thought I would be slimmer.
I thought I would be faster.
I thought I would be stronger.

My first race is next month. and I am terrified.


I have not even taken my bike for a ride outside yet. Whenever I am able, the weather isn't nice... and I don't want to take it out in less than good conditions my first go around...
Today it was nice... and today I had horrible hip pain [hence bad workout]. I need to do this.... I need pratice - I've never biked with the clip pedals....
I am going to fall at first... it is just a fact of the matter. I know it is going to happen - I just hope I can fall gracefully. [which little known fact about me - I don't... and I know I don't] I don't even think you can call it falling. perhaps crashing to the ground is a better term.
try to play it off? no way - not going to happen. Instead, I announce it.
"I'm falling"
There goes amy.. crashing to the ground again.

I have not had an open water swim. ... another need-to-do for this month.

and there are still things to to buy!

I feel so underprepared and race season is approaching quickly. I won't lie. I'm overwhelmed.
I'm overwhelmed with everything - training and life.

Before I say my next statement, I want you all to know that this is always on my mind. It pushes me when I don't want to go, It makes me smile when I feel like I can't, It gives me exactly what I need, when I need it.
I have the best support system a person could hope for.
Every person who reads this blog.
Every person who stops me and asks how my training is going.
Every person who leaves support and positive feedback on my facebook/blog/twitter/emails/in person.
Every person who pushes me at the gym/pool.
Every person who trains with me.
Every person who says I motivate them
...motivates me.
I don't want to disappoint you all just as much as I don't want to disappoint myself. Without you all, I wouldn't be where I am and I can't thank you enough... and this won't be the last time I try to express that.

My mother.
She is certainly one of my biggest supporters. She is proud of me - of what I have done and what I am set out to do. She probably thought I was a crazy lunatic when I first told her about the Chesapeakeman.. heck.. I thought I was a crazy lunatic. But she puts aside her "what the [censored] is wrong with you?" thoughts and encourages me.

Today I called her after my horrible attempt of a workout. Frustration was brewing .. I needed comfort.. relief.. I needed my mom. [yes - this statement is the opposite of what a mature 26 year old would say ... I may be independent and mature.. but lets face it, sometimes you just need to hear moms voice]

A bad workout on top of a messy house, a pile of laundry the size of Mt. Everest, 22.5 hours of working out somewhere between a 1-hour commute [door to door], a 9 hour day, and a 1-hour commute [door to door] x5, a desperate need to grocery shop and cook .... and ellie peeing on my bed ... it's a lot. its overwhelming. I don't have time to do anything for myself, to sit or to relax... I'm always doing something.[another reason these posts are so far and few between - I post when I should be sleeping].

My mom is smart - she sees it - she gets it.

... My mom also has a key to my house.

... I didn't ask her to do this

... I told her not to do this

... Repeat, she has a key to my house.

.... She is coming over on Thursday while I am at work and helping.

Whereas I hate the thought that I am 26 and my mom is coming over to help me with my housework and laundry... she has better things to do with her time - and I want her to do those things instead - her coming is such a huge help. Help is the only thing I need - but never want to ask for.

She says I will understand when I am a mother... that she finds happiness in helping her kids. Whereas I highly doubt spending a day cleaning up my house brings her happiness - maybe it does and maybe I don't understand... and maybe one day I will. Maybe one day I'll be an amazing mom like she is... and maybe one day I'll know how to be the support and encouragement my child needs, exactly when they need it.

but for now, what I do know - is that I am blessed and lucky.

... For the mom I have

... For the family have

... For the support I have

... and to have each of you.

But yes, my alarm is set to go off in 4 hours - so I should bring this to an end.

[But before I do - I want you all to know that hearing the feedback that I get about my blog - that it helps to inspire and motivate... heck, just that people take the time to read it - brings such a joy to me. You all are here for me... and with me. It makes the later nights and the little less sleep - so worth it.] I love you all

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This is so me it isn't even funny... yet it is.