“The only life long, reliable motivations are those that come from within, and one of the strongest of those is the joy and pride that grow from knowing that you've just done something as well as you can do it.”

[Version two - sorry, it isn't as good as the one I lost]

I woke up yesterday, tired.

I thought of every excuse I could to not go to my century ride.
... The roads are wet
... The forecast says 40% of rain
... I have one next weekend... I don't have to do both.
... I really should get more sleep

... I could say I missed my alarm
... or that I was sick
... maybe no one will even remember!!
        oh crap, mom just announced it on facebook....

I guess I am going....

As I finally rolled out of bed at 3:45 am ... a good 15 minutes after my alarm first freaked out, I questioned how well this day was going to go.

My unmotivated self didn't find the energy to get my bag and bike ready the night before - so I found myself scrambling around the morning of, hoping that I was not forgetting anything.
... bike, helmet, shoes ... check. These were at least the most important things to remember.

5:15 came ... and of course it was time for a photo shoot. I had to post a picture to go with my morning tweet - although in reality, I just wanted to delay my departure to Hagerstown.

5:30 ... with an hour drive in front of me, I suppose it was time to roll out... I was nervous.
The last time I attempted a century ride I got lost and hit a bunny rabbit. I found my way back to the finish line... although perhaps I should refer to it as the start, since I was well below the 100 mile mark. Because my first attempt was such a failure, this ride would now be my first time doing this distance ... that is, as long as I didn't get lost again. As if the distance wasn't challenging enough, this course was filled with hills. I don't typically do hills... they just aren't in my area, and even if they were, I would avoid them. We all know my love, or lack there of, for the annoying inclines. I am not even 100% sure how my body will hold up to 103 miles ... let alone 103 miles of rolling hills and climbs. Nervous was an understatement for how I felt.

Eventually, I made it to the car.... and eventually I turned it on.

As I drove away, I thought about all the things that could go wrong.
You see, I know that my definition of 'hills' is different then that of a person who actually lives around them.
Hmmm... lets compare it to this ... what is actually a bunny slope, is like a black diamond to me.
So not knowing how hilly this course of 'rollings hills and steep challenging climbs' actually was, I decided to go old school. I took my Felt.
With my Trek, the gears are on the aerobars and my brakes are on the bullhorns. Completing my first century ride was going to be difficult enough, so I went with the bike in which my gears and brakes are nicely together :)
But I haven't given this bad boy any lovin' since June ... and although I know very well to not change up equipment without at least giving it a good test ride and glance over ... I did it anyway.
... What if my tires aren't good?
... What if I get a flat?
... What if my chain brakes?
... What if the roads are still wet?
I imagined myself taking a good spill on a slippery road
... What if I get hurt?

Rain started to hit my windshield.
Grrreeeaaatt... [and no, I didn't just eat Frosted Flakes, and no, I am not Tony the Tiger... although sometimes I may resemble him..]

My eyes were heavy. I didn't know how I would get the energy to bike hours .. after hours .. after hours. I thought perhaps a pit stop in Frederick for some of my favorite Wawa coffee would help, but apparently my brain was still asleep as I got lost and gave up...
I hope this isn't an omen for how today is going to go.

Eventually, I made it Hagerstown. I'm not so sure that I was very enthusiastic about this... and I wasn't even sure how I was going to push myself through this ride if neither my heart or mind were in it. But I was there. Step one - complete.

Actually, the best part of my morning was hearing that Hempen Hill BBQ was catering the event - is that sad?? Even though I usually can not eat after a long workout like this, if I manage to - I at least knew I was in for some good food.

After a couple of restroom stops, a loonnng and sllooow setup, and about a 10 minute battle with my bike computer ... I was on my way.

Follow the white arrows - So far, so good.
... until 30 seconds later when I had to re-remember my gears and I heard a loud crack-like-sound that sent fear shooting through my body as I thought that my chain broke. It didn't, thankfully, but it made me worry about using this bike that much more. I hope my last minute change in bikes doesn't turn out to be a huge mistake.

After a couple of miles, a guy pulled up next to me and we chatted for a few. Although this was a nice distraction for a couple of miles, he certainly wasn't someone I wanted to ride the next 100 miles with. Three guys passed me and I decided to use their drafting line as my escape... and it worked!

Things were going well and the first 19.44 miles came with ease. Before I knew it, I was at the first rest stop and the only casualty so far was losing one of my peanut butter GUs [... which for me, is a huge disappointment :) you know how I love those things! yum yum yum!]

This race was very well supported ... and I was surround by plates of cookies! I was in heaven. I grabbed a cup of Gatorade, a banana slice and a cookie for some sugar [or that is what I told myself.. it reality it was simply because they are delicious!... aanndd perhaps the sugar thing has some truth to it too :) ]. Actually, I grabbed two cookies, but after a bite of the second one I had to talk myself out of it. I had yet to deserve a second cookie... keyword yet. After wasting a couple of minutes by making it appear that I was busy and in deep thought ... and of course after I shot out my mile marker tweet to keep everyone updated - I made my way back to my bike.
Slowly.
Eyeing up those who were still at the rest stop, and those who were leaving ... I was about to become a total creep.

Riding out was a group of guys. They were talking and laughing - and you could tell they were really enjoying themselves. They weren't there to get an outstanding clock time, they were there for the experience. I decided to quicken up my step and try to ride behind them for as long as I could keep up. It would be a nice distraction from the miles and a good way to keep a pace. I wasn't expecting them to talk to me [although perhaps I secretly hoped they would....]

I was with them for some red lights leaving the rest stop, they were funny - they made me laugh. Shortly after, one of them noticed I was riding alone and struck up a conversation. All of them were at different paces so they ended up splitting up a bit, and I found myself working my way up through the group. All of them starting up a conversations along the way - the miles quickly ticked by.
I didn't know how long I would ride with them, they would probably be too quick, I would probably be too slow, or if nothing else - they would probably draft line to just get away from me ... karma for my draft move earlier in the morning. But for the time being, I was enjoying the moment. I was enjoying the internal motivation this group gave me, the distraction from both the passing time and the endless miles, and most of all, I just enjoyed the company. This was a great group of guys.

Rest Stop 2 - Mile 42.44
mooore cooookies! ... 
By this time, the group had separated out even more. Some were going for a shorter distance, others were at a slower speed, and at this point I fully expected that the other three would leave without me .... [but hoping that they wouldn't].
They were kind enough to let me ride a leg with them, I am thankful for that.
I didn't want to be a creep x2 and invite myself along for the rest of the journey. I didn't want to be a bother and I didn't want to intrude on their group.
As I stepped out of the restroom I heard one of the guys say 'Are you ready to head out?' ...?!?!?.... I quickly glanced around to make sure the question was directed towards me... it was! They weren't sneaking away, drafting out, or continuing on without me ... they included me :) a big cheesy smile crossed my face ... I was apart of the group!
I was now looking forward to the miles to come.

We pulled away from the rest stop to start leg 3.... although as quickly as we started, we stopped again. One of the guys got a flat. Just as he had yelled out his misfortune, I had slowed down to, yet again, make sure my chain didn't snap after a horrible change in gears. Being just a couple of feet in front of him, I heard his troubles and pulled over with him. He told me to continue on with the others who had not yet noticed the sudden lack of two trailing people, but I refused. I wouldn't, I couldn't, I didn't want to. These guys had graciously welcomed me into their group and I wasn't going to leave him behind to fix his tire alone... and neither would the other guys. Once they realized that the load was lighter, they came back.. no man left behind!..  and after a [semi] quick fix of the flat - we were on our way again.

This leg was the longest of the day with 26.69 miles until the next rest stop.
We rode through the Antietam National Battlefield - which I really enjoyed. It was also during this part of the leg that I eyed up my bike computer. Mile 56.1. This was officially my furthest outside ride to date - I smiled.. I was happy.

One of the [many] good things about riding with this group was that I wasn't attached to my watch. In fact, I only looked at my watch once, maybe twice, and those were only at the rest stops. I didn't know what time it was, and I didn't care - but I could tell that the afternoon hours were meeting us as I could now feel the sun beating down on my back.

My legs were growing tired, and the rolling hills didn't want to stop rolling. It was also during this stretch that the two steepest climbs were found, one of which laid just before reaching the next rest stop. I felt them, I felt this one. I am not usually an out of the saddle climber, but now I had to be. It took a lot out of us ... or at least me. It was after this that we all cycled a little bit slower [a little bit being an understatement]. I feared that I was slowing down the rest of the group, and I was relieved when I learned that it wasn't just me. Most of us were hitting the 60 mile wall [which I imagine is just like the 10 mile wall I keep hitting in my runs].

It was at this time that the most difficult point of the day now faced me.

Rest stop # 3 - Mile 69.13.

This rest stop was also the start. It allowed for people to drop out of the full 103 mile, and with my aching legs, the sun beating down, and the smell of Hempen Hill BBQ in the air - I would be lying if I said this thought didn't cross my mind.
But I wouldn't, and I didn't.
[But to be honest, if I had not found the group that I did - I may have ... and I probably would have. I will be forever grateful for this group of people who unknowingly pushed me harder then I could push myself.]

We did lose one person at this rest stop though, and this made me nervous. These guys cycle, I don't. If he dropped - could I really finish?
Our group was down to three.

BBQ was not an option at this point... and there were no cookies at this stop. Preposterous!! Instead, I ate a slice of bread with peanut butter and jelly on it... a decision I slightly regretted once I felt it sitting in my stomach.

Rest stop 1 and 2 were at the same location, and rest stop 3 was at the start ... thankfully rest stop 4 had its own location. That meant that once you pulled out for leg 4, there was no turning back. It was stop now, or finish 103 mile [unless, of course, something happened along the way which would be very disappointing at this point].

With that, we climbed back onto our bikes... I, of course, did this with less ease then the guys.

We passed one person.

We began to wonder if anyone else was doing the full century, or if everyone else got sucked into the delicious smell of BBQ and ended their day early. I was slightly jealous.

I'm not sure why I thought the next rest stop was around mile 82... really I have no idea ...  but as I anxiously eyed up the approaching mile 82 marker on my bike computer my mouth started to water as I thought about all those cookies I was about to demolish. You can imagine my disappointment when I learned that the next rest stop wasn't' under mile 92!! Another 10 miles away! The burst of energy I got when I thought the next rest stop was right around the corner, quickly deflated.
[Perhaps I heard someone say 92 but my mind processed it as 82...] I had to keep telling myself to just get to the next rest stop... which I often had to tell myself during this entire ride...
Small goals.

I'm not sure what mile it was, but at some point we rode past an empty beer can on the side of the road.
A beer would be so good right now.
I wanted one.. I wanted one right then..
Beer .. Beer and cookies .. Beer, cookies and wings .. Beer, cookies, wings and soft pretzels.
I craved. I craved carbs and deliciousness.

As we continued to make our way towards the rest stop that seemed to never come, the guys expressed how impressed they were of me. After 70 miles, they knew quite a bit about me.. they knew I had just started riding this spring... and they knew about my weight loss. What they had to say, made me speechless. I knew there was nothing I could say to express how much their words meant to me. I felt great. They said I was strong, and I felt strong. These words are something I held onto, and will hold onto, and something I would soon need.

Out of no where, a couple of riders came up from behind.
Were we really riding that slow at this point??
It was just in time for the next rest stop.

There were more at the stop... they were back...
THE COOKIES!
.... oh yeah.. there were more riders there too... we wouldn't be the only crazy people this day.

Rest Stop #4 - Mile 92.11

After I savored the deliciousness of the cookies [which was probably more like watching a person who had not eaten in a year as I shoved anything and everything I could into my mouth], I loaded my tummy up on Gatorade, and finally applied sunscreen on my now bright red back .. I was ready. I was ready for only 10 more miles to the finish. I say "only 10 more miles" because after 92 miles, 10 doesn't seem like that much - although in reality it is, and it felt that way once we were back on the road.

Another group left the rest stop at the same time we did. I knew the guys wanted to beat them ... and I knew I was slowing them down. I was falling behind .. I felt bad.

At one point they passed the other group as they pushed up a hill. Not wanting to disappoint, I got out of my saddle, taking advice that they had given me earlier in the ride, and powered up the hill the best that I could. I, too, passed the group, and as a result, I passed the other girl.
Eventually she caught back up and passed me ... but I wasn't going to allow that.
I didn't want to slow down the guys, and my new motivation was to keep this girl behind me... and for the next few miles this was a success.

They kept looking behind to see where I was. I wanted to yell out that I was coming, and to keep going. I wanted them to know that I would catch up....
I remembered the kind words the guys said to me... I pushed harder. I am strong.They wouldn't know how their words helped me push through these final miles.

With one final climb, we hit the mark... the 100 mile mark [!!!] - I yelled it out. I was ecstatic. I finished my first 100 miles!
... but alas, let us not forget [which I often did throughout the day] that I still had those 3 'bonus miles' to get to the end.

As we rolled closer to the finish, we went into finish mode. We slowed down our pace, struck up conversation, and I enjoyed the moment for what is was. My legs ached a little less, I enjoyed the breeze as I passed through it, and I cracked a smile knowing that the ride was coming to an end, and I that I was, indeed, was going to finish.

The group ended up beating us, and towards the end that girl ended up passing me ... but being in finish mode, I no longer cared. [although if you want to get technical, she finished by pulling into the field were we parked ... we finished by biking the final .xx of a mile to actually cross through the finish line :) haha!]

As I passed under the big .. beautiful .. absolutely glorious blow up finish line that signaled the end of our monumental trek, I forgot my check my watch. I have no idea how long it took us, and really - I didn't care. Once I did remember to check the time after I had grabbed some grub and sat down - it was 8 hours after I had started. With 4 rest stops and a flat tire mishap - we probably wasted a good hour ... so 7 hours? maybe less? maybe more? No idea... it didn't matter, because I finished!

Final mileage... and I am totally rounding this up to 104 miles

It ended up being a beautiful day for a bike ride. I could not have asked for better weather. The sun was out, the temperatures only reached the high 80s - it was perfect. The ride itself was great as well. It is certainly an area I would love to ride more in the near future. The best part of the day though, by far [and if you haven't already guessed], was the company.

I would be lying if I didn't admit that part of me was sad this journey was over, because that meant I had to part ways with this amazing group of guys I had just met 7 hours earlier. Seven hours doesn't seem like a lot, because it isn't.... but in those 7 hours, you go through a lot together. You learn one another... you have moments of seriousness, you have moments of laughter. You hit the wall together... you get through the wall together. You encourage, support, motivate one another. You experience the best moments, you experience the worst moments ... together.

Without even knowing it, these guys were with me during a very special moment... one I probably would not have been able to do had it not been for them. Because of that - they now hold a special place in my heart.

As we sat around eating... or for me, as I tried to force down a bite or two of my PB&J sandwich [and before I forced them into a post ride photo shoot], the guys once again told me how impressed they were of me. And once again, I blushed. They waited for me to tell them I was a pro ... and they talked about how one day they would see me in the Olympics [ha!- i wish!]...
They also reinforced something they said earlier... that riding 100 miles isn't easy, and it isn't. It was a physical challenge, it was a mental challenge - it was tough.
But at the end of it all, all I could think about what how great of a day it was, and how much I would have regretted it if I had given into my excuses that morning. The pain, the long miles, any negative thoughts ... were now long gone.
Finishing felt so good.

That is now the challenge.... remembering how good it feels to finish. Next weekend, I am going for another 100 mile ride... and this one is sure to be alone [and it probably should be since during my race I won't have a group to ride with].
I now know I can physically do a [challenging] 104 mile ride, but mentally - I'm still not sure.

On this day, these guys got me through the ride... and I wanted to fall down to me knees. I wanted to beg, cry and throw a tantrum as I asked them to join me next weekend.... [I should have a least asked them to ride with me again another day].

Can I do it alone? I guess we will see....

-----

People asked me if I could run a marathon after this ride... fuck no. Should I feel that I can? How do you know you are Ironman ready? How much should you be able to do and still feel good? I don't know. I'm just training how I am and hoping that come September 29th, the emotions will carry me the rest of the way...

The End.

**No animals were harmed during the making of this blog... or during this ride, except for the bugs that I swallowed.

**on a side note: After this race, despite knowing better, I was lazy. I did not properly rehydrate. As a result, I became ill Saturday night. Please make sure you not only hydrate during a race, but afterwards... even if you have to force it down. Lesson learned for next week.

Post Race Group Photo!

Driving an hour home post 104 mile ride is not fun

Return of the tramp stamp tan - did I get some color?