... an hour earlier then normal ... but of course, it wasn't a normal day.
Anxiety overwhelmed me this morning.
Rolling out of bed, I flicked on the light... it will be hours before the thought of light would cross the morning sky.
I washed the sleep out of my eyes... at least the best that I could, and stumbled down the stairs to cook up my eggs and to enjoy my morning coffee.... [this is always the most pleasurable part of my AM]
After which, I climbed into my oh-so-attractive 'I just pooped myself' cycle shorts... more padding or less padding today?.... and took a quick glance in the mirror.
:sigh:
Dark circles, no makeup, and what resembles a birds nest plopped right onto the top of my head - niicceee, Amy... real attractive. I thought of all those people...
I gave myself a little pep talk to try to calm the overwhelming nerves that continued to creep their way into my mind, body and soul with each passing moment.
who cares what other people will think, it isn't about you. Anything is better then nothing, and at least you can say you tried...
and with that, I pumped my tires, filled up my water bottles, and was ready to set up my bike trainer for my morning ride.
.... it was a morning that seemed typical enough... yes?
Except where my TV usually sits, there was a train track... and instead of riding comfortably in the privacy of my own home, I would be surrounded by strangers taking part in their morning commute as they waited for the MARC train to arrive...
It's 5am.
I hope the trains don't run late today....
As I jumped... perhaps jump isn't the right word here...
As I hesitantly climbed onto my bike, I could feel the glare of eyes of the first person to arrive at the station that morning.... and before I knew it, there were more... there were many. My face started to turn a shade of red, not from the ride, but from nerves that still continued to overtake me. Thankfully it was dark... and thankfully I could play it off as a result of my workout...
It started to drizzle.
It was a nice cool break from the humid morning air for me, but terrible for my purpose.
A few weeks ago I got an unexpected email. It was from the Make-A-Wish Foundation of the Mid-Atlantic chapter saying I was the top fundraiser so far for those of us racing in the ChesapeakeMan ... I was to receive a free shirt. I wasn't even aware that the top fundraiser got a prize ... nor did that matter. I am not raising money for a men's medium tech t-shirt... although it is a comfy shirt to lounge around in ... I am raising money to help honor the wish of a child.
Although I do have to admit .. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a hint of pride to hear that I was the top fundraiser... numero uno. I've never been number one in anything... for anything.
I set my sights high when I made a goal to raise $3500 [which is about half of what is takes to make one wish a reality].... but if you haven't caught on yet - when I have a goal, I set my sights... and I set them high. Go big or go home.
With the help of some very generous donors, I had been able to raise $2330... but I have started to hit a wall in my fundraising... I've bugged everyone I know and then some...
I realize I need to start being more creative, and to get my purpose out there more.
Every morning I line up at the Germantown train station to get to work... and every afternoon I line back up to head home. With a commute that is so predictable, so scheduled, you begin to see the same people day in - day out - and repeat. A blessing and a curse really, except this time - I was hoping it would be a blessing.
Perhaps the people who know me will at least donate .... you know... since they all consider us a 'train family'. ...Surely they will help....
... and perhaps those that don't know me will too.
With Germantown being the busiest stop on the Brunswick line, I thought I would find out ....
... I was going to ride on my bike trainer, at the Germantown station, from the moment the first person arrived at the station for the very first morning train, until the last morning train was out of sight ...
I was going to work hard for the money this morning.
As the rain refreshed my overheating being ... it was messing up my signs and flyers...
I quickly jumped off my bike to hide them under the overhang of the train station to avoid them getting too wet...
As if It wasn't hard enough to get my purpose out there in the first place, it was now near impossible.
Now I just looked crazy... but tell me something we don't already know.
Some people gathered around and snapped photos as if I was some sideshow freak performing at a nearby circus... I dropped my head because that was the closest thing to hiding that I could do ...
I don't get embarrassed a lot, or easily, but this was testing me...
The first couple of trains came and went...
I kept my headphones off so that I would be more approachable... but no one came up to me. No one asked questions, no one tried to strike up a conversation... it was silent. It was tough .... and I maybe had a couple bucks in the box...
I was beginning to think this wasn't going to work.
One dollar is better then none though...
I hoped that the later trains ... ones with people I know, would be a bit more active... Just get to 6:57am ... just keep pedaling...
Finally, train 892 pulled into the station... I knew that if things were going to turn around this morning, this would be the train to mark it...
One of the conductors of the train, got off and brought me a donation. Nervous that his sarcastic personality would jokingly [or maybe not jokingly] make fun of me - I held my breath.... I already felt silly. I was surprised when he didn't ... I was relieved... I was happy.
In fact, his words of encouragement were exactly what I needed to hear in a morning that seemed to be such a failure.
As the train pulled off in front of me, he said his final words of support, and my hope for the morning was back.
Perhaps people sensed my newly revived enthusiasm... or perhaps these people just had time to have their morning coffee... but either way, as the time went by, people seemed more interested.
One lady told me I was an inspiration.... which will always be touching. Whether I hear it once, or a million times, it means a lot to me. She asked me for diet advice and fitness tips... I told her that if she ever sees me at Washington Sports Club, to never hesitate to ask me for help.
I met a mother who just sent her daughters application into Make-A-Wish...
That is why I was there that morning.
When my alarm went off at 3am I was scared.... I was scared, I was nervous, I was anxious, I was intimidated. Emotions swarmed like they do race morning.
What seemed to start off as a defeat, became a beautiful ride... and before I knew it, three hours and fifteen minutes had passed, and the last train was pulling out of sight.
It doesn't matter if those embarrassing photos taken of me were now plastered all over the interwebs... or if 9 out of 10 people that morning thought I was crazy. I rode that morning - rain, shine, humidity or not - for any dollar, quarter or penny in that box... and even if there was one penny and a piece of lint in there, it would have been worth it.
I managed to raise, what turned out to be, just about a dollar for every minute I rode, and I am now at $2525.35. [mailed in check is pending as I write this]
Sure, I was hoping that some online donations would sneak their way in ... but in the end, I'm very happy.
https://www.midatlantic-community.org/amychrest
"When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity."
I worked hard for that money! .... and I work hard in my training.
This past weekend my schedule planned for a "Big Day' Training day....
You see... training should become increasingly like the race the closer you get to race day. The problem with that rule is apparent when training for an Ironman triathlon. You simply can’t do workouts that are really like that distance of race too often. It’s too demanding on both the body and the mind. But you do need to simulate at least a healthy chunk of the race sometime before race day.... This won’t do as much to prepare your body as it will your mind... which for me - is still my weakest link.
This weekend was my first of two ... and that, my friends, will be in Part 2 of this post :)
... to be continued ...
because it is 12:30, and as I mentioned... that alarm goes off at 4.
I can't wait for part 2 (as long as it' is written before 12:30 at night)!! Or for us to find those pictures online ;)
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